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Lee-C Angel

[ website | My Myspace ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Here... it'll give you something to do. [Friday, March 6th, 2009
@ 12:50PM
]
What would you do if:

1. I died:
2. I kissed you:
3. I lived next door to you:
4. You found out I was married:
5. I stole something:
6. I was hospitalized:
7. I refused to leave my home:
8. I got into a fight while you were there:

What do you think about my personality?

9. Personality:
10. Eyes:
11. Hair:
12. Family:

Would you:

13. Help me hide a body?
14. Keep a secret if I told you one?
15. Hold my hand?
16. Take a bullet for me?
18. Try to solve my problems?
19. Love me?
20. Cover my ass for me?

Have you ever:

21. Lied to make me feel better?
22. Wanted to hug me?
23. Wanted to kill me?
24. Broken my heart?
25. Kept something important from me?
26. Thought I was unbearably annoying?

And more:

27. Who are you?
28. Are we friends?
29. When and how did we meet(or do you plan on meeting me)?
30. Describe me in three words:
31. What was your first impression?
32. Do you still think that way about me now?
33. What reminds you of me?
34. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
35. How well do you know me?
36. When’s the last time you saw me?
37. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
38. Are you gonna repost this to see what I say about you?
Watch Me Bleed

This isn't about who you think it's about.... [Monday, February 16th, 2009
@ 3:53AM
]
[ mood | Strong ]


I never realized how much I hate you.

You made me feel like shit for so fucking long and I wonder why I put up with you. Maybe it was hope. Hope That everything would change. Maybe it was love. Love for something I wanted more than anything in the world.

Now that I have a good thing going for me I can take a good enough look back and realize how much I hated you for all those years we were together. Everything you said to me and did to me made me think harder and over analyze shit to the point I hated myself more and more.

To Think of the things you made me do:

  • Cut Myself
  • Attempt Suicide
  • Hurt People
  • Lose My Family
  • Lose Myself
  • Lose Everything
  • Push Friends Away
  • Not Allowing Me To Have Friends
  • Making Me Feel Worthless
  • Making Me Feel Like I Wasn't Good Enough
Thank the Goddess I had people who helped me. Thank Everything above that I had will.


Thank god you're gone.

The Old Me Is Dead And Gone.

Watch Me Bleed

[Thursday, July 24th, 2008
@ 10:17PM
]
:) 11 days and we're Off to the Gathering. I'm so fucking happy I Can't wait.


nothing really new in my life. Sunday Johnny and I have been together a year and seven months, I'm still working at Harvest, Still living at home but hopefully in a few months that'll change.....

Life's pretty Damn Good.
2 Laughed While I Bled Watch Me Bleed

[Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
@ 1:55AM
]
[ mood | depressed ]

Another Year Older...


Another Year Without You...


I Miss You Daddy.

Watch Me Bleed

[Tuesday, July 1st, 2008
@ 2:00PM
]
So... It's my birthday!! YAY ME!

I'm now 24.

I'm growing up too. I have an amazing Penguin who loves me very much so. In September we're going to start looking around for a place of our own.

I enjoy my job. I just applied for a supervisor position there. I hope I get it.

I haven't really had time to hang out with anyone except on Wednesdays and weekend nights. Sometimes I feel alone but it's expected.

But yeah.. it's my birthday.

I've heard from a lot of people wishing me a happy birthday and one person who I thought would've gotten the hint I don't want to speak with them at all ever.

But so far it's been a good day and I'm supposed to go with Johnny to Laura's house today for a BBQ. Then it's back to work all week. There's a Party at the Fitz tomorrow night... Johnny Boy (one of the bouncers) is buying me a penguin Ice Cream Cake from Carvel and it's going to be a blast. Saturday at my house around 3:30ish I'm throwing my party. I have to work till 2 so that's why I'm saying 3:30ish.. I'll be home about 3 and I'll possibly try a nap but doubt it. If Scott has the beer pong table he's going to bring it down... There's going to be asshole per Johnny's order and just an all out good time.

Hopefully I'll see everyone there.

YAY BIRTHDAY!!
Watch Me Bleed

[Sunday, June 29th, 2008
@ 11:07PM
]
[ mood | happy ]

My Birthday is in One day..........




Who's coming to the Fitz Wednesday??


And My House Party is Saturday 3:30ish Because I'm working till 2 Everyone's invited as long as you're of legal Drinking age.






In Other news...... I lost the contest.

Watch Me Bleed

[Wednesday, June 25th, 2008
@ 9:47AM
]
My Birthday Is Tuesday.

Fitz Party Wednesday Everyone's Welcome.

Party At My House Saturday..... Everyone's Welcome.

Let Me Know If You're Coming.
Watch Me Bleed

I Think Of This Song Every Day When I'm Going To Or Coming Home From Work.... [Wednesday, May 28th, 2008
@ 5:26PM
]
Watch Me Bleed

[Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
@ 10:59PM
]
Wanted to give an update real quick...















I work.... a lot.
2 Laughed While I Bled Watch Me Bleed

[Tuesday, March 25th, 2008
@ 9:14AM
]
[ mood | happy ]

So I've been up since before 6 this morning. I went to bed around 9:30. I actually feel great about it. I love it.

Yesterday was my first day on a register and I was up by 38 cents which isn't bad considering I thought I was going to be short. Today I'm working from 12 - 8 and I'm looking forward to it... kinda. I guess the big rush is always at like 5:30 6:00 and I'll be working. Little nerve racking seeing as how I don't know the PLU codes yet for produce but they say it takes a little bit anyways and there's a lot of numbers to remember.

I'm enjoying working and enjoying knowing that I will get paid and everything in my life will start looking better. I'm excited over the fact I'll have my own money for the 8th of May when we go to Foxwoods. I'll probably bring about 200 because I know I'll burn through 100 if I decide to play a table game which I might.

I can't stop smiling today. I even fought with Mary today because she doesn't want to go to school because she didn't finish her homework and I'm still in a good mood. It's going to be a good day today and I'm glad.






















I'm actually happy.... finally completely happy and I love it.

Watch Me Bleed

Finishing Update from the other day..... [Monday, March 24th, 2008
@ 1:09AM
]
[ mood | enthralled ]

So... where was I?

So yes Saturday depending on Mike and the Schedule I might go see my bestest Dana. I'm a little nervous about tomorrow and starting a register. But I'll be ok. I'm very much looking forward to getting my first paycheck. It's going to feel good to have money in my pocket and only have to take care of me seeing as how my last job I had I was always giving my money to someone who didn't deserve it or care.

Jesus my house is hot right now.

But today was easter and it was a day.... Johnny and I slept till two and then work up went to the store and I fought with my uncle.. well more like he fought with me but who cares. We went with Ma to put the cart in it's place and then came home and Ate. Nettie made a kick ass ham again. She's so good at it. Ma made a lasagna that's gone... not a piece left to be found. There were masheded potatoes and corn. That was easter. Ma gave Johnny a chocolate bunny and Mary made him an easter egg last night. I love it. My family has really taken a liking to him which is good because I love him.

Nana's sick. She has pneumonia. It sucks. My flu is gone... thankfully. Things around here are actually going well. Myself and Annette both work now. Ma works weekends with the cart like we used to... Marissa's still over at the movies and is looking at a promotion. It's great. Most of us are getting along and I like it. I have a family again.

So anyways... I want to go to the Carnival when I get my check. Not go all out and take a million dollars but I want to go on a bracelet night and have some fun. Hopefully this time Johnny can go on rides with me. But I have other priorities so I don't know if I'll get to go to the carnival this time around. I need to get clothes.. I've gained weight again and I've got nothing that fits me... Then there's the whole car thing I mentioned... and an apartment and the gathering. There's a lot of other things that I need to worry about before I worry about too much fun time. So yes Kevin that means I have no idea when I'll come out to NY and see you but hopefully it'll be some day soon. Also good luck tomorrow seeing your daughter and hopefully things work well for you. I wish you the best and Know you'll be a good dad.

So let's see... what else is going on? Umm.. some things have been coming up lately and I would appreciate them stopping. I don't like these things at all. I'm doing good and don't need this dragging me back into a world I don't belong in. I have good friends and my family I don't need those things. Some people know what I'm talking about and if you don't you can ask me in a private message.

Other than that there's not much going on. Like I said I've got my good life back, I'm happy, I'm working, things are looking up and hopefully my luck changes with things and I can keep going on the right track. I just want this feeling to stay around for a long time. I thought of something today when I was watching TV in bed with Johnny.... "The best feeling in the world is to be laying in the arms of the one you love and know they love you back fully" and it's true. I finally have the best feeling in the world and I'm happy about it. I'm also happy with myself. Took a little longer than hoped but I'm happy.

I'm also tired... so this is where I'll end it for now and I'll be waiting a little longer to get my mom from work and go drift into a happy little world of penguins and Marvin The Marshin to dream until tomorrow when I have to wake up and I'm off to the grind. I still can't stop smiling when I say that.... I have a job... I have work in the morning... I'm Happy.

Sorry this rant keeps going on and on about my job but currently it's the best thing ever.

Good night and Much Wicked Clown Love to everyone.

Lee-C

Watch Me Bleed

[Saturday, March 22nd, 2008
@ 7:15PM
]
So today was my first day of work... It was kinda boring. Filled out papers and then bagged all day because I didn't get to actually see what was being done on the register because the other two people who were there training were taller than me and standing in front of me.

Monday's my first day trying register. I'm a little nervous but I know I can do it. I'm really happy now. Took me some time but I'm finally officially happy. I'm going to have money in my pocket again and I'm going to be able to buy myself stuff. I've already told Mamas when I get a check we're going shopping. She's been dying to take me shopping. I'm looking forward to it.

This also means saving... saving for an apartment with my penguin and saving for the gathering. I'm also going to be looking for a car because the Green van needs way too much work to bother trying to fix it. So I'm just going to get rid of it and get a cheap-o but good car. I'm nervous about that because I've never had to pay my own bills and I'll have rent and car insurance and shit like that all having to be paid within the next few years. Growing up is kicking my ass and it's only day one.

But Like I said I'm happy. I'm proud of myself because I got up all by myself today and made sure I was in work on time. I was actually 20 minutes early. It felt good. The people there are really nice especially knowing I know Johnny. Everyone loves him there. I have tomorrow off and I'm back to work on Monday from 10 - 5 and then Tuesday through Thursday I'm working 12 - 8 and then Friday I'm back to 10 to 5. Then I have Saturday off.. Depending on next weeks schedule I might go to Magestry for the weekend if Mike will wait for me to get home. If I don't have Sunday off or I'm working too early on Monday I might say screw it (and if Mike doesn't want to wait because I feel bad for him) I'll just be going to see my Dana on Saturday because I miss my bestest friend.

But I'll edit later because I'm about to get going and Take ma to work and go to Lynda's... If you need me call my cell if you've got the number.
Watch Me Bleed

Interview @ 2:30..... [Wednesday, March 19th, 2008
@ 1:15PM
]
[ mood | hopeful ]

send Me Good Juju













*Edit*

I'VE GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm now going to be working at Harvest. My training starts Saturday at 11 AM and then again on Monday.... If I'm comfortable enough on Monday when I leave I get to start on Tuesday. It's going to be a weird change going from Computer all day doing nothing to actually having to look at people but.... I know I can and I want to do it and that's what matters.

2 Laughed While I Bled Watch Me Bleed

[Saturday, March 8th, 2008
@ 3:34PM
]
[ mood | bouncy ]

So anyone who knows me and Johnny knows he's a great and funny guy...



well for the next 5 weeks you'll be able to see him in action on TV. It's the same episode but either way... Johnny did an episode of Wrestling Center last night.


If you want to see my Stinky Penguin in action go to WrestlingCenter1.tripod.com and watch this weeks episode.

He was definitely fun to watch.

*Edit*

Hopefully this link Here Works for sending you Straight to the Video. You Must have Real Player to watch it.

2 Laughed While I Bled Watch Me Bleed

[Wednesday, March 5th, 2008
@ 8:27PM
]
Is Anyone Watching American Idol???? Honestly I think I sing "I Hate Myself For Loving You" better than Amanda.






And if you don't believe me come down to the Fitz and you guys can see me prove it!
Watch Me Bleed

New Picture Of Me And My Bestest Little Mikey!!!!!!!!!! [Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
@ 11:36AM
]







Isn't he awesomely Adorable!!!!
Watch Me Bleed

Maybe I'll Dance With Stinky To This... It's Such A Pretty Song... [Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008
@ 3:03AM
]
[ mood | loved ]


So Yeah.... Johnny and I are good. Things are great actually. I'm in the process of trying to get a job through my cousin's boyfriend. I'll be making a decent amount of money which will rock my penguin socks. Yeah fuck pandas I got penguins for Christmas and Penguins are much cooler.

I Don't know if I wrote about Christmas... I don't remember the last update I made so...

Christmas was cool. Johnny came over and we had our first Christmas as a couple together. It was great. Annette made dinner, Johnny watched westerns with my mom and Nana. Diamond ran around like the cute little puppy she is. Marissa is living with us so she was obviously here. Mary got an Xbox360 which thanks to Scott I have Dark Rising (YAY ZOMBIE GAMES) but I'm only borrowing it. Ma and Nana bought Johnny a shirt and a sweat shirt.... but the sweat shirt is too small :( That sucks because the sweatshirt totally describes him. It says Keg County Beer Drinking Champion. Yeah... that's my penguin.

Ok so let me explain the Penguin thing real quick... I found one of those Pon And Zi cartoons, You know... the circle headed things with the body of basically a ghost is the only way I can describe it because it has no feet.... Oh hell.. let me just upload it.


So that's what I sent him... and he told me of course he'd be my Penguin. He's so awesome. So Yeah That's why I call him my penguin.

So... let's see.. I'm almost off Probation. YAY ME! Freedom and now I can forget about the past and the majority of people in it... except My Bestest friend who I Kinda fucking Love Dana. He's the most awesome. And of Course Miza and Skit but they don't count because they're not the past... they're still my friends and they still love me.

But back to what I had said in the beginning
.. Christmas was cool. I loved spending it with Johnny. I can't believe how much my family loves him. But I don't want to make this whole post about Johnny. So Yeah... Marissa lives with us. It's cool. She's coming with me and Johnny to
Subnoize Soljas and Hopefully Twiztid too. My Nana's birthday's coming up. Rayshele's was yesterday. Umm..... Really hoping to go to Maine at the end of Next month with everyone. That would be nice...

Ummm... Hopefully getting this job so I can get my Gathering Money... Can't wait for the gathering. This past year was my first and it was AMAZING!! Hmm.... Still no idea what our plan is for Valentine's day. Probably another 30 rack and a rose here at my house. Not like I'd mind at all. Especially because I have a Door.... A nice thick solid wood door that no one can break over my back now. We have privacy. It's great. We spend Friday night at the Fitz.. then come home, go to bed, wake up, watch TV/Play Dead Rising for the majority of Saturday (except this Saturday is BLAZE YA DEAD HOMIE BABY!!), Go somewhere else, come home.. do the sleep thing, wake Sunday, Eat dinner... Watch TV (This Sunday is Royal Rumble), I drive him home... the Week ensues. It's become a routine which sometimes I get a little sick of... and then I walk out the door, we get to the Fitz and I see all my friends and I'm happy it's a routine. I will admit sometimes I hate it... sometimes I can't stand always ending up at the Fitz... but that's because right now where I don't have my own money I'd rather stay in and watch a movie, or go to a friends house with a 24 rack and play games and watch a movie... I'm really a home body. I Enjoy it sometimes. But if it wasn't for the Fitz and my friends I'd probably have hit rock bottom and wouldn't be typing this.

I have amazing friends. No need to name them and send them on an ego trip because they all know who they are... and they know I appreciate them and I love them for all the in site and help they've given me in the last year...


Jesus I really can't believe it's been a year. Johnny and I will have been together a year and a month this coming Sunday. It's such a great feeling to be able to say I've been in a relationship, happy, and Faithful for a full year and I don't plan on changing any of it for the rest of my life. Johnny's awesome and in light of certain things happening in my house we've been doing a lot of talking about, some what if's (that haven't happened yet and I don't plan on them happening YAY BIRTH CONTROL!) and the somewhere down the roads... It's great to know we're on the same wave length with things..... especially that Nacho Cheese Fountain at our wedding... I don't know why but I really want a nacho cheese fountain when I get married to whomever (Johnny LOL) It may be... I think it's just because the Chocolate fountain in my opinion says one of two things.... either 1) Look at me I'm trendy with a lot of money so I have Chocolate coming out of a fountain... Or 2) Look at me.. I made this choice when I was on the Rag. Where as to me Nacho Cheese says.... WE'RE HERE TO FUCKING PARTY!!! Which is what I will be doing. I mean I Don't have money... I'll never have a lot of money. I'm going to be middle class forever if I'm lucky. I know it I accept it I enjoy it. I mean yeah if god forbid something happens to me and I get a big Ol' Check for it then I'll still be middle class... you know why? Because I have a good head on my shoulders unlike some people I know that as soon as they have money they leave their real friends for some stupid little bitches who once that money's gone are going to come running back... and I'll be busy in my comfy little one bedroom apartment with my Amazing penguin living my life and loving ever minute of it with Real People who know what friendship is... If I ever got money first thing I'd do... I'd take Every One Of my friends Whether they get along or not (because I'll make them) to... hmm... I'll take them to the Sarachino. Right in the north end. Why? Because it's my favorite restaurant and I want the people I love to share it with me. And we'd party it up drinking Fancy wine and eating our fill of great Italian food and pastry.. the Pastry would come from Downstairs at the Cafe Pompay. And no one would have to drive... because I'd get a Big ass Limo! Then whatever's left.... would go to bills... or maybe retirement. Or Maybe saving to one day buy a house.

I have plans... I have Dreams... I will accomplish them.


So yeah... that's my update.

Good night... and good something... I forget what they say...


Lots of Love (and I kinda fucking love my bestest friend Dana LOL) and Much Wicked Clown Love....




♥ Lee-C Angel.
Watch Me Bleed

Wow.... a Whole Year Huh? [Thursday, December 27th, 2007
@ 2:50PM
]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

So as of today, the one I call Stinky Head, My Penguin.... Johnny and I have been together for a whole year. I can't believe he's tolerated me and loved me for a whole year without trying to kill me. He's simply Amazing.

So.... today I had group. Boring.... later I have my one on one then my test. Hopefully tomorrow I can get up early and go to the Harley Store and grab an Application. I also have to fill out my paper work for Mass Rehab in case I can't get a job. They'll send me to school for some kind of trade and then help me get a job. I'm thinking Cosmo and then working for a funeral home. It sounds like a decent plan and you get paid a lot of money for doing that because not many people are willing to work on the dead. I'm fine with it because in my opinion they are still human. They just don't breath anymore. That and death is a part of life... why be afraid of it? Plus I'll be able to save money if I do that because I'll be getting paid a decent amount and maybe I'll work in a salon too. I have a lot to think about and a lot to figure out.

But yeah.. we've been together a year and it's a year I wouldn't change for anything.... well the being jobless for another year thing I would've... but other than that there's nothing I would change.

So.... for Christmas I got a bunch of penguin things. Two pairs of Penguin Jammies, Penguin Socks, Two Penguins..... and that's it. Chris got me an ICP Hoodie that's Amazing. Johnny got me Foxfire on DVD... I love Angelina Jolie in that movie, and a Dress off Hatchet Gear. It's nice. Hmm... let's see. I two new shirts and a pair of Pants.... Lynda got me a nice picture that I have to paint. Yay for crafts.... I'm still waiting on what Pam got me.. she keeps forgetting it but it's ok because I still haven't gotten her anything.

Johnny spent Christmas here. My Mother bought him a shirt that says "I'm bad with names.. can I just call you dumbass" Nana got him a hoodie that says "Keg County Beer Drinking Champion. Walk in Stumble out" Or something like that. Marissa bought him a Shining Stars Stuffed Cow, I got him a Shining Stars Stuffed Owl and another little stuffed owl. I'm so happy my family likes him. Unlike the last person who I was "with" where I had to tell them to buy him things, they just went out and got them for him themselves. It's such a good thing. I finally have my family back and a man who will be a welcomed addition to it.

Saturday I'm spending a night at the Beford Plaza Hotel. I got the room for $41.17 because Johnny and I want a night away from here to be alone together. We're going to do dinner and then spend the night there. I can't wait.

But that's just about it. Now I'm just waiting for my mom because I need to head back to ASAP.

Man Life is good.

4 Laughed While I Bled Watch Me Bleed

A lot going on in my mind. [Wednesday, November 28th, 2007
@ 9:19AM
]
[ mood | cheerful ]

So I'm making this a public post so that my Stalkers can see how my life is going and New friends who I have yet to add can see how my mind/life works.

So Let's start with my person relationships in life. Yesterday was 11 months for myself and the most amazing man I've ever met, Johnny. We've been together for almost a year and we've gone through some shit. He's a great guy who listens and wants to be around me. He's been trying to help me grow as a person and it's been working. In the last 11 months I've started to become someone I forgot existed. I'm trying to get my things situated and go back to school. I'm going to go back for teaching preschool and Kindergarten and possibly a little psychology. I've gotta have all my stuff in by December 27th.

Speaking of December 27th. It's mine and Johnny's 1 year :) So... anyways within the last year I've also made some wonderful friends who I always hype up... sorry guys no ego trip this time. I've been talking to some people from my past and losing others. I no longer speak to Tracy... no big deal. Her loss. There is one person in particular who I've lost contact with and I'm very
grateful for. This particular person and I haven't spoken since last November and I couldn't be happier. I didn't realize until lately how bad this person was for me. They never treated me right and always had something negative to say. But I am thankful for this person because if they had never been in my life I wouldn't have the relationships I have now.

December 11th is the next court date. It's for the restraining order. I know I have to go. I can't wait. Even if this person doesn't extend the restraining order I want nothing to do with this person. I have a new life now. A better life. One with people who care about how I feel and don't want me depressed or upset even though they know it happens sometimes. So in this sense I can't wait until December 11th so I can move on from this.

Also February 26th I'm off probation. I Believe the 29th a few of us are going to Maine for a party. Nothing spectacular, just a few couples. So far I've invited Pam & Scott, Big Erik and his girl, Billy and Lynda, and myself and Johnny. I plan on inviting Kristen and Sean so they can have a nice get away. The only problem that lies with this is there are only 3 bedrooms in Maine and now there is no furniture because we didn't expect to ever go back up there since we were trying to sell it. There are also plans in the works about a party in Maine this summer. Probably the same group of friends going up and having fun. I should probably confirm who's going for the freedom party before I begin talks of a summer weekend.

Speaking of weekends.... this weekend is going to be a rough one. This weekend marks 4 years that my father has been gone. He passed away on December 2nd in 2003. It was a big change in my life I didn't want to handle at the age of 19. But I've overcome. I'm still a little depressed at times... but it's expected. I know I will get through this weekend... I just wish I didn't have to.

So... I've grown and changed in almost a year. I just thought I should share for those of you who don't know me well enough and those of you who've been through the ride with me. For those of you who I will see tonight/this weekend, I love you and thank you so much for being a part of my changes and the great person I am becoming.

Once again thank you.

Much Wicked Clown Love.

Lee-C Angel.

3 Laughed While I Bled Watch Me Bleed

Maybe I'll sing this to Johnny tonight. [Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
@ 9:07PM
]
Watch Me Bleed

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